Why We are Choosing to Homeschool

The reasons for choosing to homeschool can be just as varied as the families that do it. As we first started tossing around the idea of homeschooling, it became apparent that it was the right choice for our family. There are all kinds of facts and figures about homeschooled children versus traditionally schooled children. (I may do a blog post about it someday.) These are valid and certainly enough reason on their own to choose to homeschool. But my list here is more personal. It includes the specific reason why OUR kids need to be homeschooled.

WARNING!
This blog post is going to get long!

Reason number one... have you seen the headlines lately about American schools? It's not just our city schools, it seems to be schools everywhere. It doesn't matter if they are in affluent neighborhoods or in inner cities, the things that go on are scary. Just yesterday was the headline, "School punished child for witnessing sex on bus."  I don't even know where to begin with all that is wrong with this story. Another one from yesterday is from our own school district: "Parents upset over controversial song title in yearbook." The MIDDLE SCHOOL kids (ages 11-13) chose the song "Gonorrhea" as their "theme song" and the teaching staff allowed it. I had to look up the lyrics as I had never heard the song before. It is too vile for ADULTS to listen to, let alone for pre-teens to have heard it...  and to choose it as a song that "represents" them? Call me over-protective if you want, but I don't want my kids around that kind of influence.

On the same train of thought, I never imagined having to explain some of the words my kids have asked me about this year. I am proud of the very open relationship I have with my kids. They know they can ask me anything and I will give them an honest answer. But they truly put me to the test when they asked for the definition of some words they heard at school... words I won't use in this forum. What are these other kids watching/listening/exposed to that these words are being used? I am irritated that my children are being forced to grow up so quickly.

Because I am making an attempt to keep this blog as a-political as possible (and for those who know me personally, know that will be a very difficult goal for me to achieve) I won't go into a rant about the liberal indoctrination and forcing of political correctness happening inside public schools. But just know... it's a factor in our decision to homeschool.

Nick is in 6th grade and has attended six schools in three different cities. Emma, in 3rd grade, has attended two schools in two cities. This is the first year it has become apparent to us that the teaching/learning gaps between states can have a negative affect on kids' education. In science and social studies in Alabama, there are things that it is assumed that a 6th grader has already learned. But they are topics that were not taught in Virginia. This puts Nick at a disadvantage and required that he play "catch up." We expect at least three more moves before Nick graduates from high school. Emma could face four to five more moves. We fear the learning gap will only get worse. With homeschooling, it won't matter where we live or how often we move, the education will be consistent.

Our city's school system is in chaos. Massive debt, infighting, terrible leadership, a fired Superintendent with no replacement after months, and poor decision making on how to spend the taxpayer's money to support an education system. For example, it was announced recently that there would be layoffs of teachers and staff to help ease the financial woes. An already over-crowded classroom is just going to get worse with fewer teachers. At my kids' school, they now "share" a vice principal, school nurse, and counselor with another school. One of two custodians has been let go and to compensate, the students clean the school cafeteria after lunch every day and their classrooms and hallways each week. I'm not against my children cleaning, but it is not why I send him to school, and ultimately just lessens actual learning time even more. While all this was going on, the school installed brand new large flat screen televisions in each of the classrooms. Now I get that the money for the TVs might come from a different "pocket" than what is used to pay for salaries, but the fact remains that the priorities are wrong. And if I was one of those fired teachers, I'd be pretty ticked off at the purchase of the TVs. The total lack of leadership and management of the schools is a signal to me that it isn't a place I want to send my children.

Nick is a very intelligent child. He spent three years in Virginia gifted classrooms. Now in Alabama, he had to wait after being in the school system for one year before they would test him for gifted services. Some of his teachers recognized his intelligence, but their idea of what to do with a gifted child was to give more work. If the mainstream kids did 50 math problems, well, let's give the gifted kids 100! This is the fundamentally opposite way to teach gifted children. They should be given 25 problems and then move on to the next lesson. I believe Nick stopped "excelling" in order to avoid doing so much extra work. He has basically been "dumbed down" to the rest of the class. Every day he comes home with pages and pages of doodle-drawings or an entire flotilla of folded paper boats that he creates in math class when he has finished his work. The school principal put out a notice several months ago to admonish parents that kids weren't getting their homework done. Only once or twice a month Nick might have homework, because he gets his work finished in class. He is not being challenged in school in any way and his potential is being wasted.

I remember the "mean girls" in middle school. I didn't see too much of it in high school but I know in some places it is very bad. It is always something I thought I had a few more years before having to potentially help Emma through. But in THIRD GRADE? Really? There are a couple of little girls who are just downright nasty. One even threatened Emma's life. I acknowledge these are 8 and 9 year olds and that they probably couldn't/wouldn't *actually* kill another student, but for an 8 year old girl who has the threat made against her, it's a bit frightening.  Emma rides the bus with her, is in class with her, and can't really be away from her. If there is a problem with another child while homeschooling, we simply don't interact with her anymore... No forced togetherness with the real life little Ranavalonas.

Emma is also very smart, but in a different way than Nick.  She is average to above average in her school work (though I don't see her being truly challenged - she just moves through the work), and very advanced in her reading level, but she doesn't have the same "engineer brain" that her father and brother have. Instead she is very socially smart, has a great sense of humor, is empathetic, and creative. She learns differently than Nick does. If my two children, from the same parents and living in the same home can be so different in skills and abilities and learning styles, what does that say about a classroom of 25 to 30 children? How can one teacher possibly teach the best way for each child? Quite simply, the teacher can't. Instead they teach in their own personal style, whether it works for the children or not, and tend to teach to the lowest common denominator in the classroom. This is not a criticism of the teacher in any way. It is simply a fact. One person cannot effectively teach the same subjects in the same way to a room full of kids. But one person *can* effectively teach two different children in a homeschool setting.

Nick is not as socially savvy as his younger sister. I wouldn't call him immature at all, but he has always had a harder time getting along with some kids. He's not an athletic child and we limit his exposure to a lot of the "popular" movies, music, and video games because we find them inappropriate for his age. I think this might have kept him from being able to "relate" to some kids. And the things he is interested in talking about might be considered "nerdy" to some kids. This has lead to a bully problem, at times a serious one. He has physical scars on his body from getting roughed up. He had to get two staples in his head when he was in 4th grade due to another student. He's torn holes in his pants from being pushed down.  He has had to endure intimidation and physical attacks that an adult would never stand for. Incidents would happen and what do we have to do? Send him right back onto the battlefield every day. I wouldn't put up with such a situation, yet I was asking my 11 year old to do it? It didn't seem right. The schools have made an honest effort to stop the bullying, but you can't change a bully's home life which is where behavior like this must be accepted or ignored. It has gotten a little better the last half of this school year, but I believe that is more due to Nick finally standing up for himself rather than teacher involvement or the bullies behaving better.

Both kids have outside interests they want to pursue but we have been hesitant to start because of scheduling. When they don't get home from school until 4pm, trying to run around to every extra-curricular activity, eat dinner, have some quiet time, enjoy family time, etc, is hectic and just isn't the lifestyle Steve and I choose to have with our family. Homeschooling can change all that. Emma can take horseback riding lessons and Nick can learn archery in the middle of the day. We can teach the value of volunteering and community service, experience all the things the city and region have to offer, and have real time to just play and be kids.  And we can do all these things without running around like crazy people trying to get it done after school and on weekends.

Some of you I am sure have been waiting for me to list THIS very important reason to homeschool. And although it is a bit funny, I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a factor in my decision making process. Public school schedules inhibit our ability to go to Disney World whenever we want! It's not just WDW though, it's any kind of travel. As it probably is with some civilian jobs as well, the military lifestyle does not lend itself to being able to easily go on vacation whenever we want. We are at the mercy of the Army. I can't tell you the number of times we have had to argue over taking our children out of school for family vacation time. They are smart kids who can afford to miss a few days of class, they do all the missed work anyway, and still, the school fights these "unexcused absences." Aren't they OUR children? Are they in a school or are they in prison? Isn't it possible that a trip can include learning experiences far more valuable than what might be taught in a classroom? Homeschooling will allow us to go when Steve is allowed to go. Not only will this be good for our family, but it's also good for our wallets... traveling in off seasons when crowds and prices are lower is an excellent benefit and a valid reason to homeschool. (Right?)

If you've made it with me this far, I thank you! Although I have had these reasons in my head, and have discussed them somewhat with others, it is good to see them "on paper." It is reinforcing our decision that homeschooling is a good decision given our circumstances.

If you are a homeschool family, what were your main reasons for keeping your kids at home for their education?